His tears are our fears

Lately there has been a lot of this (in varying degrees) at our place in the evenings:


So now my favorite time of night is when he will finally do this:


And I can look down and see this:


He's lucky I'm a sucker for his chubby checks.It's hard for me to stay frustrated for long when I see that smooshed little face cuddled up to me.

Papa and Nana John Come to Visit

My parents have come out with their grandparents names: Papa and Nana John. They are short. They are memorable. They will do. I think I even like them.

Nana and Papa John after an exhausting weekend with Will

When Will was about to be born my mother and I had many conversations about when they should come and visit us. After long deliberations, it was decided that my parents should visit after we had moved to Kansas City because the week Will was going to be born would be hectic. It was a wise decision.

Will smiles and waves for the camera

My parents flew into Kansas City on Friday morning...but then had to keep on flying on to Wichita due to extreme fog here. There they waited for 3 or so hours until they were cleared to finish their journey. Unfortunately Midwest Airlines does NOT do a sufficient job of updating their flight information, and Carrie had already driven to the airport.

There were some rumors floating around that Will did not have the John pot belly. Let us put those rumors to rest.

But they did arrive in one piece and met Will. They came downtown to my work and met people there while my co-workers also got to meet Will for the first time. That night we went to Arthur Bryant's for BBQ, and it was great. Carrie's pulled pork and my burnt ends were tasty, and it reminded us of when we went there with Meredith and Steven, Ron and Karen. My family is having a biggest loser competition, and we did our part to trick my parents into eating out this weekend as much as possible.

Will sees the light

The next day my father and I put together shelves we had purchased the night before. They are perfect for what we need. Pictures of our apartment will be forthcoming when we get over having a baby around. Hungry with no groceries we had Wendy's for lunch. Then we went to our apartment clubhouse and worked out for awhile and then visited the hot tub and sauna. Will came along and passed out in his space age stroller. This was my second trip to our sauna here, and I have figured out some things:

1. It takes this sahko (electric) sauna a good half and hour or more to heat up to a good temperature.
2. I have to remember to bring my own bowl and ladle for throwing water on the stove. I bring a plastic popcorn bowl and a plastic ladle we use for spaghetti sauce.
   
3. There is a thermostat/breaker above the stove, so if the room gets to warm the sauna stove shuts off automatically. I handle that problem by pouring water on the thermostat so that it stays cooler while the rest of the room approaches what a Finn would consider a normal sauna temperature. Fire codes are for sissies.

Unlike the first time, the sauna got legitimately hot. My father, my lone sauna friend, was a sport and came with me. We burned so many calories just sitting there. After awhile he was done and left, and I dumped the rest of my bowl of water on the stove, and for the first time since I went to sauna in Utah with friends, I really had to mentally persevere to stay in there, which I did until the steam died down. It was heaven.

We finished the night with delicious Papa Murphy's pizza.

In the morning Papa John delighted the crowds with his homemade french toast, made on our griddle which we got when we married but did not take out of the box until Sunday. Sustained by the goodness of the french toast I performed Will's baby blessing at church. It was short and sweet, but I think I got all the important parts, and when I asked the Bishop if it counted he said it was fine.

3 generations of Thomas ... John's: Anthony, Will, and Doug

We finished off Sunday night with a great visit with the Cranes for the healthiest meal of the weekend, lasagna and salad with optional apple crisp.

Will does everything 100%- he cries and plays hard, and looking at this picture he relaxes hard

We spent the holiday morning relaxing. We went out and bought a new table for our dining room/space to replace our card table which will now serve as a studying desk in our room as soon as we can get Will to move out. We ate lunch at Panera, and left for the airport, commenting on how it was still somewhat foggy, which had been the reason for the complications on Friday. Well, their flight had been canceled despite the information on internet (Thanks Midwest!) and now my parents would be leaving in the morning. We ate out one final time at Jose Pepper's for mexican food, who was the son of Dr. Pepper. For those of you keeping track at home, we ate: (1) BBQ at Arthur Bryant's (2) Wendy's (3) Papa Murphy's (4) French Toast (5) healthy lasagna & salad with apple crisp (6) Panera (7) Jose Peppers. I RARELY keep track of the things I eat. I tell you all this because this was all part of our scheme to take my father out of the running for the biggest loser competition. We figure Carrie has a good shot at winning due to Will's recent birth, but my father, due to his years and life experience, may be her biggest rival. Thanks for the visit Dad! Take that!

My parents are great.

the new video

Frustrated that we could never get the previous "Will Rolls Over" video to post on our blog, Carrie shot a new video this afternoon after Will's bath:

This video is a bit more bare bones than the other, less theatrics. But we are pleased with his progress and development. He did not sleep well last night, and we think he has a cold which make it harder to breath and eat, which in turn make him more cranky.

In an effort to write about more than our son, I thought I would share with you one of my pet peeves coupled with my billion dollar idea:

If you think my million dollar idea is baby mullets you're wrong. I am not that smart.

It bugs me to know end to pay for things that do not work. Just today in our relatively new car the shade broke, due to the cold, and would not bend back into roof of our car in "rest" position. Worse than that are the technology companies that offer products that consistently break. How many times has your internet stopped working for a couple hours or even days? How many times has your cell phone just booted you off your call even when you should be in the middle of great reception? How about how cable can turn off randomly? I feel like technology has grown faster than these industries' ability to serve their paying customers and fix problems with their product. They just do not know how to fix it. Multiple times in college our cable would get bad, and we would call their customer service line. The first question they would always ask was "Have you turned your box off and on?" "Yes." "Hmmmm...I do not really know what to do then. You should probably wait a few days, and if you are still having problems return the box and we can give you a discount on a new box, with DVR!" There are no super tech fix-it people who can fix anything. The technology will not allow it.

Another factor that these companies take advantage of is exclusivity of service. We have moved 3 times in the last 4 years, and each time we do not have much choice in who our cable and internet provider is. It seems like even my parents who live in suburban Boston have no more than a few choices. The lack of choices makes it harder for the markets to punish companies whose product is no good.

To make matters worse, each of these companies demands long-term contracts from their customers. These contracts allow for huge profits because you are locked in for a long time. I believe that these contracts make these tech companies very lazy. What is their motivation to fix the problem when they have you locked into your phone plan for another year? If you want to keep your unbeatable internet/cable package at that introductory rate you have to sit there and take the abuse.

Here are my related idea(s): What if an internet company made you this pitch: "We are a new cable company in town. You will have to pay more for our services. BUT, we have a monitor on every box we send out. If it is not working, our box knows that it is not working, and you stop paying for the service. When the box starts working again you have to pay us. This way we are motivated at providing the best product to you our paying customer. Some companies guarantee their product. How's ours?" You could do the same with phone service or internet. I think well-informed consumers would eat it up. I would pay more for "guaranteed service".

Will thinks his dad is a freakin' genius. Or he has gas. Or he is thinking about food.

Here's another thought. Why don't consumers band together to stop the abuses of these lazy companies? I remember brainstorming similar ideas with roommates about Provo and how if the students would pool their purchasing clout they could wield considerably more political clout there. As it is the students are too busy with school and high-octane creative dating to care that much, so the city of Provo just sticks it to them. How cool would it be to have students react to a rash of local car towings by telling that business or apartment complex who allowed the towings, "Fine, we will not use your establishment." I was then and still am disappointed at the way BYU does not stick up for its students. It is shameful the way they are taken advantage of. I am not a union man. But there are some good things when people work together so that they are treated respect. Unions have a well-deserved bad reputation, but they have done a lot for the common man like reducing the work day to workable hours and causing child labor laws to be written. A consumer union would enable people to make better decisions.

To sum up Tony's billion dollar ideas:
(1) guaranteed tech services: phone, internet, cable, ets.
(2) consumer union- this could be a stellar website

In other news, I hate Deal or no Deal. It is a stupid show that requires no skill and has inane commercial breaks. When I have caught a few minutes of the show I inevitably feel frustrated by the contestants lack of understanding of math, which always leads to foolish choices to go longer than they should. No matter what it frustrates me- I get bugged when they lose the money they should have gotten and even more bugged when they stupidly keep going and they make more money than they should. I am a cantankerous curmudgeon.

Maybe Will comes by his negative attitude naturally

FREE WILLY!

Like a land-locked killer whale, finally free to move about as he pleased, Will surprised us yesterday evening with a talent we did not know he had, and here is the video that proves it, even though you can do anything digital these days. You have my word, this has not been doctored:

The proud mama and papa flash Will's sign: each finger represents the points of the "W". Will actually does this.

(Programming note: Due to technical difficulties we have been unable to upload the video to the blog. We will try to upload it later on tonight and tomorrow until perhaps our funnest family moment is shared with you all!)

Grandma Crane got the great idea to put him on his stomach and see what he did. The first time she did it, within 10 seconds he had rolled on to his back. He did it twice more, and we videotaped the third time for everyone to see.

Bustin' moves

We also have a bunch of pictures taken by Grandma Crane that capture Will very well.

Hiyo!

The last few days have been a real treat. As a working new father I now know how to cherish the weekend. Will and Carrie seem to be settling in to a routine since we are not moving every few days. I think that has helped him relax, and he has become much more fun to be around. I can feel the change happening for me: Before I wanted to get home from work as soon as possible to help Carrie "deal" with Will. Now I want to get home because I feel like I am missing out. Two delightful symptoms of Will's new temperament: (1) He sleeps a bit more at night and in longer stretches. (2) He has developed an intermediate scream. It is not as shrill or as painful for his throat, but it still gets the job done. We are all grateful for his developing voice modulation abilities.

Relaxing after a full night's work of rolling over

The temperature has raised for highs today around 32 degrees. Carrie and Will went for their first stroller walk, and I called Carrie Super Mom. I love this balmy weather, and yes I am excited for spring.

A Tale of Two Wills

Sometimes I feel like I have two babies. Sweet and happy Will in the morning and frustrated, angry Will in the evenings. This photo embodies Will's happy-go-lucky morning attitude:

He's relaxed, he's content, and he doesn't care who knows it.

This video is a snapshot into our lives between the hours of 7pm-12am, give or take an hour or two. He's one of those babies that just gets fussy in the evening, or so our pediatrician says. We don't think he has colic (yet, knock on wood).

Oh and viewer discretion advised.

I wanna know what fatigue is...

I want Will to show me...

When I had early morning seminary plus as many high school extra-curricular activities as possible, I thought that I knew what fatigue is. I used to fall asleep on the subway or the hard living room floor. I had a real talent.

Will did not feel like his dad was putting in maximum effort here and booed his father

Then I went on a mission to Finland. When I got there it was always dark and I could not understand anything that people were saying. My first month I would pass out at lunch time and as soon as we got home or when we spoke to someone in Finnish for more than 15 minutes (which was frequently).

Big Willy Style- pimping things out in his new swing (suggested by Aunt Carly). He likes the open chest.
He says it's for the ladies. It's like the Costanza photo shoot. Very tastefully done.

I came home from my mission and fatigued myself by making stupid decisions and wasting time. I was not as fatigued then, just dumb.

Will is shocked by how candid and open that last sentence was...or has gas.

But now my child has taken my fatigue to levels I did not know were possible. And I say this knowing full well that Carrie has to be even more tired, and for that I adore her. Getting sleep each night in 1 to 1.5 hour chunks with screaming baby/feeding/dirty diaper labor intervals in-between is not restful.

Your making ME out to be the bad guy here?

Much has happened since our last blog post. After a fun Christmas with the Cranes we briefly returned to Springfield for Will's circumcision and to pack our stuff so that we could move back up to Kansas City.

Aunt Emily delights the wee bairn

To add a move on top of a new child is not a plan I would wish on my worst enemy, but we were able to push through due to fabulous help from family and friends. Jill and Laurence's help made it even more clear how living close to family in Kansas City was going to be great.

Seemstress Aunt Jill made the onesie with the emblazened Crane family brand

Other Springfield friends were very giving with their time, and made it harder to say good bye. Bobby Moser deserves the Purple Heart of super movers for his early arrival, high energy, and his hours of hard labor. In the state we were in there was no way we would have been able to pull off our move without the help of loved ones.

Will rocking the high fashion

After staying the night at the Cranes we moved into our place the next day with the help of our new ward elders quorum. As you can tell from the assorted pictures we still are not totally unpacked and settled as we have not had much time, but Carrie has done a good job to unpack when she can. I can not say the same about me.

I started my job on Monday. I get to leave each day in the morning and come home in the afternoon. Carrie has been working this feeding/sleeping schedule now for a solid week alone, and she deserves many gold stars. My new job with OPM has been wonderful, and I love the people I work with. Though, for those of you who do not know, I work with 5 former MSU I/O Masters students who I went to school with.

Somebody gets their photogeneity from their mom

There are only around 20 people in the office, which means that I feel fairly comfortable asking questions of people around me because I know them pretty well. The hardest parts of the job have been:

1. The commute- The drive to and from work can take anywhere from 20 minutes to 75 minutes depending on the traffic and weather. This week we have experienced especially nasty winter weather, which makes the roads pretty treacherous and the driving slow. I listen to NPR and call Carrie to pass the time. I feel like I am missing out on time at home when I could be helping Carrie relax and taking my turn with Will.
2. The training- he spent the last two days in a dimly lit room learning the intricacies of our work. Our trainer was competent and for the most part the material pertinent, but the chairs were too comfortable and the lights too low for a new father not to struggle with droopy eyelid syndrome.
3. My name- Even the government struggles to get my name straight. My email and login for work has been messed up because someone along the administrative trail entered my 3 first names in the wrong order, Anthony "John" Thomas. This means that while everyone else communicates via email, I have to bother others to find out what is going on. It's more funny than anything else.

Will gives Mom a knowing glare

I think I should also give a bit of my job description and what OPM does. OPM stands for Office of Personnel Management. The whole Office has the responsibility to make sure that government agencies obey federal hiring laws. There are three branches within OPM- one that interprets and analyzes the results of the rules, one that enforces the rules and audits, and the last one (mine) where we consult and work with all branches of the government to get them compliant. Clients like the Department of Defense, the FDA, the Naitonal Park Service, etc., use our expertise to do initial applicant screening that make it much much easier for them to work within the government's EEO and veteran prefence rules. Our office's revenue is based on a fee-for-service model, so we are not part of congressional line-item funding. We are a bit more like a private company that must produce in order to keep our organization afloat. Our bread and butter is doing applicant screening for branches so that they avoid breaking the law and costly law suits. For those of you thinking that I will be a good person to know to get a federal job, I sadly am not. But I will be able to give you some useful pointers about your interview, application, etc.

Of course with this post there are many pictures of Will and his adoring fans. They will have little to nothing to do with the post, but for many of our readers they will be the best part.

An Era of Good Feelings

Since the Battle of Will, life has become a bit more predictable, steady, and restful.

Will strikes a pose or practices the stake dance staple "sprinkler" dance move post-sponge bath

On Tuesday, the John family went to Dr. Grisemer for Will's weigh-in. Carrie and I were a bit concerned that his day of fits and hunger were going to lead to him not weighing enough, but he had only lost half a pound.

Will having eaten so much he did not mind a photo shoot

Will screamed multiple times, pinching and clawing the doctor, causing him to quip that our son was "a pistol". We also met with a lactation expert who was helpful in showing us how to get Will and Carrie to work together to feed. Will had and still has some self-destructive habits that make it harder to feed him, but with help we have been much more successful.

Dad dances with Will to Christmas music to soothe him. Will's got rhythm already

We are so grateful for the doctors at St. John's and their help. Our OB/GYN was wonderful and stubbornly believed that Will did not need a C-section to come when his peers thought otherwise. We had great nurses who helped us a lot through the birthing process and keeping us on top of things during our hospital stay. Will has a great pediatrician who is changing his schedule a bit to do Will's circumcision before we move to Kansas City. We are so glad we had Will at the hospital after all we went through. It is scary to think of what could have happened.

Carrie and Will pass out

We hold him briefly like this to wake him up to eat. He looks like the talking dismembered head on the bus in the Harry Potter movies

After visiting the pediatrician we packed or bags, loaded the car, and left for Kansas City. We met Laurence and Jill halfway so that they could drive our car the rest of the way. Carrie and Linda were both concerned that I was too tired to drive the whole way, and I was happy to stop driving, though even in my fatigued state I cold not fall asleep because I was too anxious. I consider this "passenger seat anxiety" further proof that I have become a father. I've come a long way from the post-mission kid without a driver's license to dad who can't relax when he is not driving.

Happiness? Gas? We'll have to ask him when he can do more than scream

Spending Christmas in Kansas City is always fun for us, but this visit has been very different for obvious reasons. Taking care of Will is a full-time job which makes it very hard for us to participate with everyone like we usually do. Christmas was fun. But Carrie and I have been a bit tired and grumpy. While Will's schedule has improved each day, that does not mean that it is easy to wake up multiple times a night, but...

WILL SLEPT FOR 6 STRAIGHT HOURS LAST NIGHT

This is not how we accomplished that, but a candid capturing of a brief nap taken by the whole fam

I am slightly cantankerous. But each day gets easier and easier to relax. Carrie has been an awesome mother so far, persevering through the pain and fatigue of these early weeks.

Dad ruins a happy Christmas shot

Again, this post was very picture oriented. Please, enjoy. And a Merry Christmas!

Battle of Will

That might be the picture of a physically and emotionally exhausted new father, but you don't have to take my word for it. Read the rest of the post and find out for yourselves.

We've been home for three days, and I already can not believe that my parents had 6 kids. Do not misinterpret me: having Will join our family is the best thing that ever happened to me. I love him unconditionally and his coming has deepened and strengthened our marriage. He is awesome.

But Will has a different circadian rhythm (the "rhythm" of your body: the ebb and flow of fatigue and other body cycles) than Carrie and I. Since Carrie could first sense his movements inside her womb she warned me about this very week. "Anthony," she would say, "our boy seems to wake up at night and wiggle a lot. It keeps me up sometimes nowadays and I wonder what his sleeping patterns will be when he gets here." I figured it can't be too bad, right?

DEAD WRONG

The first night back was a bit tough. We tried to go to bed starting at 10 PM. He was upset off and on until 3:30 AM. By upset I mean he would cycle through stirring, rushed breathing, whimpering, crying, and screaming until I met his particular need at the time, be it feeding with mom, a diaper change, reinsertion of his pacifier, picking him and bouncing him and "shushing" white noise into his ear (infants like this). At 3:30 he gave up with no more energy and slept until 7:30 the next day. At 3:30 I took Will out out to the living room, place him in the center of his boppy pillow on the couch with me next to him. I put my hand gently on his face and blocked the pacifier from falling out and causing Cryageddon again. Otherwise, Carrie and I double-teamed him the whole night as much as possible, but I insisted that Carrie sleep as much as possible. I am not as chivalrous as I should be but am honest about the energy needed for 15+ hours of labor. We need Carrie back in tip-top shape as soon as possible.

I woke up at 7:30 exhausted but pleased that we had gotten the sleep we did and that Carrie had been able to catch a couple extra winks, though I always prefer to be around her. Due to the long night church became an impossibility as I was extremely groggy and knew that Carrie still had a lot of sleep to catch up on, so I was needed at home.
After breakfast I took a nap with Will in bed with me, but protected from my giant pillow and head by his boppy pillow.We had many visitors over the course of the day, which stopped us from napping as much as we had thought we would, but it was still so fun to see people. Being social creatures Carrie and I get energy by seeing others and how happy they are to see us and Will. Will was a bit temperamental all day as he seemed to be getting very upset very quickly compared to the Will we came home with. We figured that was part of his personality. The first sleep conflict was over, but the battle was just beginning.

Again, that night we tried to go to sleep around 10:30. Carrie fed Will right before. Like a well-trained army we moved forward with our bed plan as efficiently as possible. I went to sleep thinking, "This will be an even better night. We did great." Think again chump.

Will woke up around midnight hungry. Carrie tried to feed him, but he would angrily punch and claw her and kick her and he would not eat. He was very busy screaming. My role was to console him and then we would try again, but it was not working. Carrie said that a couple of times he "latched on", but did not seem to be drinking much. He woke up soon and more angry than the previous time. This lasted until 9 the next morning. For the last 2 hours of the ordeal I had Will alone, trying to let Carrie get some sleep. All of my efforts to console him were futile. I honestly prayed as hard as I ever have, and got the idea to take him into our bathroom and turned on the shower. He and I just sat in there and let the steam soothe his sore throat (He was very hoarse from crying off and on all night, and when he sneezed or coughed or even breathed funny I could tell it hurt him because he would 100% of the time start to cry). Also, the sound of the water hitting the shower floor seem to soothe him better than my personal attempts. For the first time all night he fell into a deeper rest that would last 10-15 minutes that would be interrupted when he coughed, etc. and had another tantrum. It felt like even his silence echoed in the bathroom. It felt good.

Being alone with him for a lot of the night I had a lot of time to think about Will. At many points in the night I prayed audibly not for him to be quiet, but for him to be healthy and eventually happy. After 8 hours of his crying, both Carrie and I were pretty frazzled. I took the picture at the top of this blog before passing out on our bed when this leg of the battle was over.

This skirmish ended when Carrie and I got our wits together and figured after a whole night of crying we should call Will's pediatrician or the hospital. Carrie frantically called all the numbers we had been given for medical help for Will until she finally spoke to a nurse. The nurse quizzed Carrie about her breastfeeding and Will's behavior and surmised that Carrie's milk was in the process of coming in, and Will was not getting the colostrum he was getting initially from her and yet not getting the milk that was going to come in soon. He probably was getting a little nourishment, as Carrie was still producing minor amounts of liquid (We know because he spit a bit up and was making swallowing noises). He was starving. He had been angry with Carrie, which explained the escalating anger every time we tried to feed him and why he was inconsolable.

With this new knowledge we popped open the free samples of formula the hospital sent us home with. I laid him on my lap and fed him 40 mL of formula that he guzzled. It was spilling everywhere, but Carrie and I did not care at all. The relief that he was okay was so overwhelming, we all cried. Wanting to be close while we all passed out after Will's feeding, we put him next to us again in his boppy pillow and crashed. It actually took awhile for the adrenaline to leave our systems, and Carrie and I both shivered in bed, ecstatic that Will was ok.

We slept a few hours until Carrie started to get return phone calls from the hospital asking her if everything was alright. We both agreed that the previous night had been the most difficult ordeal of our entire lives. My arms, now a day later, are still sore from bouncing him. Both of us, like wartime post-traumatic stress disorder victims, hear Will screaming in other sounds (e.g., the fan, the shower) all the time, especially when we lay down. It was by far the most exhausting thing I have ever done. Later on I tried talking to a few people about this over the phone and I had trouble keeping my sentences understandable. When I went to pick up pizza for dinner the small-talk I tried with the cashier was painfully stupid because I was so frazzled. It felt really strange. Carrie said that in her opinion it was harder for her than giving birth to Will, though significantly less painful. But the emotional exhaustion was very difficult to deal with. We both felt so desperate and helpless. I wondered many times if I had done something wrong, if I had hurt my own son. As I grew fatigued worst-case scenarios flooded my mind, and if the dramatic writing style of our blog did not reveal this about me yet, let me tell you: I can get a little dramatic.

In the final leg of the battle of Will (last night), Will was fine. We have supplemented Carrie's milk with formula and he is good. He is back to his good-natured self, easier to soothe and able to be fed by Carrie. Will probably woke up, on average every other hour, and Carrie and I both got 5-6 hours of sleep total, but not straight. It's bizarre how refreshing that feels, but in comparison to yesterday I feel great.

I now know a bit more of what it takes to be a parent. I feel like everyone who reads this blog should take this challenge: During this holiday season take the time to genuinely express to your parents that you love them and appreciate what they have done, do, and will do for you.

There are going to more "battles of Will" I am sure, but we will move move forward more confident that we can succeed in crisis.

Like father, like son

So far Anthony has been a great dad. I cannot say enough good about how awesome he has been, but I don't want to get too mushy on our blog.


There has been lots of talk about how much Will looks like me. I can see some Anthony in him, and he has definitely inherited some "Anthony-like" behaviors. Only time will tell for sure if it is nature or nurture.

They both like to nap.

They both like to open their big mouths wide.
They both like to contort their bodies into strange positions.

Are we there yet? The Adventures of Heading Home

First off, if there is one thing I have learned in the past 48 hours it is this--everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) takes longer than you plan with a child. I thought we would probably leave the hospital today sometime after lunch and we ended up barely leaving in time for Anthony to make it to our ward Christmas party (he was singing in a male quartet).

Before we left we had to dress him in his own clothes (as opposed to the hospital onesie), which I was very excited about. I first thought about this momentous outfit weeks ago and it was the first thing I packed.

Will was NOT so excited about it. Getting him dressed was a two person job, but we persevered. It is amazing how rigid he could get his little body to be.


We took another family photo right before we headed out into the frosty night. I realize I am extremely puffy (it seems a bit worse each day) but I am a mom now, so I will sacrifice my vanity. The nurses told me it usually takes a week to go away. I really hope they're right.


While Anthony took our stuff to the car I got Will situated in his car seat. Surprise, surprise, he HATED it. Not the car seat itself, which is extremely nice, but the straps that contained his body. We are quickly learning that this guy does not like to be forced into things and does not like to be contained.
I had my first "insecure parent" moment while we were waiting for Anthony in the lobby. Will started shrieking (the loudest sounds I've ever heard coming from his body) and turned beat red in protest of his new restraining device. So...I started to swing him, a move I've seen other parents make. It calmed him down (yay me!) but made me realize how inadequate my arm muscles are and how much I don't know about being a parent.

Finally! we've made it home. I hope we can survive our first night without nurses the push of a button away.